Have you ever been mistakenly introduced with the wrong name or title? It can be frustrating and invalidating. Now imagine that happening every day, with every interaction, and you’ll begin to understand the importance of respecting people’s pronouns.
There are two common reactions when it comes to the conversation of pronouns, either it is underplayed as a trivial issue or rejected as a grammatical error especially as it concerns gender neutral “they/them” pronouns.
The latter of these reactions often follows imagined scenarios in which complications may occur due to a single person going by what is considered to be a plural pronoun. It’s assumed that such usage is only new and damaging to the English language.
But this assumption is flawed. Singular “they” dates back to the 14th century, with literary giants Emily Dickinson, William Shakespeare, William Wordsworth, and Geoffrey Chaucer using it in letters, diaries and published prose. Moreover, “they” remains widespread in informal speech, used in referring to someone whose identity is yet unknown. And in those instances, confusions rarely, if ever, arise.
Around the world, queer self-expression suffers obstruction from anti-rights actors. The issue of self-identification is as serious as the length taken in opposition to it. Particularly in Nigeria, brutal homophobia maintains its mark. Underplaying the issue therefore cuts across as trying to sidestep the seriousness of dignity and inclusion.
Pronouns are more than just words; they’re a reflection of one’s identity, expression, and sense of self. Using correct pronouns affirms a person’s identity, reducing feelings of erasure and marginalisation. It’s a simple yet powerful act of respect. In a world where togetherness is built upon respecting dignity, inclusion is the right step to take and that involves being inclusive of all pronouns.
Worse than being merely disrespectful, misgendering can lead to anxiety, depression, and trauma. Correct pronouns promote a sense of safety and well-being. When we respect people’s pronouns, we contribute to creating a welcoming environment, encouraging people to be their authentic selves. It shows that you value and respect someone’s humanity.
Paying attention to how people introduce themselves helps acquaint us with their preferred pronouns. It’s advisable to avoid assumption by simply using “they” or “them” until you know their exact pronouns. If unsure, you could ask politely what someone’s pronouns are.
In the event that you make a mistake, acknowledge and correct it. You don’t have to dwell on the slippage and thereby make things awkward, simply correcting and moving on is much more helpful in such instances.
Respecting people’s pronouns is not just a courtesy; it’s a fundamental aspect of human dignity. Anytime we make the effort to use the correct pronouns, we create a culture of inclusion, empathy, and understanding. It’s time to make this simple yet profound act a habit.
Inclusion extends to the spaces we occupy, which is why even on social media using your preferred pronouns furthers solidarity with the trans and gender nonconforming community. To avoid being misgendered online, trans and GNC people usually put their pronouns on their bio, so when we tag along and do the same, we not only extend our hands in support but also make misgendering look silly and unnecessary by distracting the target placed on trans and GNC people.
We can do better. Start today by asking someone’s pronouns, listening with intention, and using inclusive language. Together, we can build a more respectful and inclusive world.
—Godswill Arinze Agubalu for WHER Initiative